UPDATE: I’ve lost weight! See my measurements


Whoops, I accidentally took a week off of writing.

Things I learned this week: I do not handle stress well at all. Okay I’ve known this all along but I had the most stressful week since I started this new job. Of course it was one of those things where everything sort of happened at once.

I had an intense work week where I actually had to bring home work every single night, and also my personal life was a little frustrating as well. On top of all that there was the diet. And let me tell you, I had a super hard time keeping the diet together.

But by the end of the week all was good again, and here I am updating my blog on time.

First things first…DOG UPDATE!

LUNA HAS ARRIVED. She is the cutest dog to ever walk the planet. She is fresh from the track so she doesn’t know how to act like a normal dog quite yet, but that’s okay. We have a lot of training to do, but she will be a perfect dog in time. Just look at her face!


Okay now lets update you about the diet.

I’m human okay. I slipped up all week. Like.. ALL week. I did really good at work. Meal prep goes a LONG way. If I can grab and go I am 100% successful. Where I struggled this week is when dinner came into play. Luckily Dan did most the cooking this week because I was shacked up in the bedroom working for hours after work.

But then came the “I’m so stressed I just want a cookie or a glass of wine, or both.” So there were a lot of cookies and lots of glasses of wine. And probably a martini or two.. okay three.

Let’s see what this did to me.

Weight: 209.2
Height: 5’6″ (why do I keep putting this here, it wont change.)
Waist: 40.75
Hips: 47.75
Bust: 45.50
Thigh: 23.75
Bicep: 12.25

I STILL LOST! Now the last time I did the 17 day diet, I lost 11 pounds in 14 days. Here as you can see I’ve only lost 6.4 which I think is still great! Also, all my measurements are down just a bit, except my biceps, they are exactly the same… because fuck push-ups. Dan has lost even more and you can visibly see his lost weight in his waist and face. Hoodies don’t fit him anymore. He looks fantastic.

I still don’t fit in the bridesmaid dress which is another thing I’m using as a scale on my weight loss. I can zip it all the way to my mid back, right before my bust line. Maybe if I went bra-less it would zip, but that’s not real life.

I can tell you that there is a difference in the way I feel. Not my mood, I am still grumpy AF because I want to drink wine every day BUT I haven’t had heart burn in 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS. This is huge for me as I get heartburn over EVERYTHING.

Also this might be TMI but I think all the yogurt I’m eating is actually helping to control the ridiculous amounts of yeast infections that I’d been having, since starting 2 weeks ago I haven’t gotten one. I was seriously getting one a week, and it was terrible.

So I guess you can say my body is happy. Which I hate admitting, because I want to live in a bag of Cheetos for the rest of my life.

We decided because we were so bad we are extending cycle 1 out one more week. Then we’ll switch to cycle 2 starting 30 January.

You know what was amazing this week? The fact that I screwed up on the diet a bunch, & I’m still feeling motivated to move forward. I ate cookies and they made me happy, and that was 100% worth it. I think if i deprived myself I would have given up already.

Knowing I had the blog update helped a lot too. There were days the chefs made burgers at work and I was like “nope I’ll eat this packed lunch instead, or everyone reading the blog will judge me” So I’m making small progress when it comes to my willpower which is great!!

I plan putting together a post of what I ate in a day if anyone is interested. let me know?

How’s everyone else doing on their New Years Resolutions/Goals? Let me know! Have you fallen off yet? Do you think a bag of Cheetos would make a decent home?

See you Thursday –



UPDATE: I’ve lost weight! See my measurements

Get over it, Ghosting is fine.

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Man it’s hard to write something after you’ve used all of the creativity you have throughout the week at work.

But it’s Thursday, and I’m determined to make this blog work.

I got such an amazing response from all of my friends it was really heartwarming, and just really made me feel like I have the best support system anyone can ask for. Hugs to all of you who are trying to get healthy.

But, lets move on to something a little less heavy (both my weight and the mood)…

Last time I wrote about my brother and his run in with a girl that just wanted to hang out as friends. Which was hilarious and had some good responses. I surprisingly got a lot of questions about Ghosting.

Let’s hit the Urban Dictionary for a second (advice my mom gave my friends in the comments.)

Ghosting: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.

Every time I hear about ghosting, it’s VERY negative. People HATE it when they get ghosted… but let’s be honest, most of those same people have ghosted as well. Also new rule: drink every time I say ghost in this blog.

I’ve done it… like a lot, but I haven’t ghosted anyone I’ve cared deeply about. To be 100% honest I don’t think that someone you’ve maybe slept with once after a first date and really weren’t interested in,  really NEEDS any explanations, or closure.

Here are some situations where I’ve ghosted someone, and felt totally okay about it.

  1. You’ve met online, you’ve been texting for a week or so, you go on a date it’s not your thing, you go home and never write him back.
  2. Your mother meets a handsome dude on the golf course and gives him your number. You text a bit, go out for a date, he turns out to be an Italian drug dealer but “No longer does the trafficking.” He buys you dinner makes out with your neck in front of the bar staff, then texts you the next morning asking “breakfast?” Ghosted.
  3. You meet a guy at 1up, which is the best video game arcade bar ever (why don’t more of those exist?) He seems fun, it’s going well so you go out again on another night. This time you decide to include him in your free bottle service you get from a bar you’re working with. He invites some friends you invite some friends. Guy uses your bottle service to hit on other girls in front of you. 1. You cut him off from bottle service immediately, 2. Ignore all text message requests asking for a ride back to his bike the next day. (Seriously dude?)
  4. Your friends introduce you to their brother. He’s fun, and you like his family a lot, buuut you’re totally in the wrong place in your life to be dating. One night you go out and drink heavily together, end up sleeping together in his sisters (my friends) basement. Try to go to the water park the next day extremely hungover, end up leaving the park, and never speaking to him again. Why? Because I just didn’t want to.

I feel like I could go on, but you already have 3 good stories of people I’ve dated for a second. So you can chew that over.

I think it’s totally okay to stop talking to someone without explanation. Have you ever told a dude you weren’t interested after talking for a bit. Dudes are MEAN. Once you hurt their ego, they just kind of turn on you instantly. “Well I don’t care you are fat anyway.” “I wouldn’t seriously date someone that slept with me on the first day anyway.” They lash out. I’m not saying everyone is like that but I’ve ran into it more than once. I just save myself the drama and rude comments, and just block their number.

Now tell me your ghosting stories! Do you ghost? Have you been ghosted? Do you hate my opinion??

I’ll see you Monday with my weigh in. Oh I ate a cookie yesterday. I felt like I just needed to be honest about that. Alright have a good weekend!!


Get over it, Ghosting is fine.

I just wanted to be your friend…


I had another question I was going to write about today. But then I got an HILARIOUS text message, and I feel the need to talk on this. This person that texted me (let’s be honest it was my brother, he doesn’t care if I call him out) wasn’t really asking for advice, but just telling me a story. BUT I have THOUGHTS on this subject.

Here is the text:


Now there are two sides to “Being Friends” when it comes to someone you were romantically involved with.

  1. You dated someone for a substantial amount of time, and then you remained friends after that breakup.
  2. You were casually dating some people and someone that really didn’t make the cut wants to be friends.

We are talking about number 2 here. Number 1 we’ll leave for another day.

Assuming my brother came to me for advice on this, his question would be around the lines of “So, this girl that stopped talking to me when we were casually dating came back and asked to be friends, even though she has a boyfriend, what do I do.”

My answer very simply is: “No.”

Hear me out… you have PLENTY of friends. You really don’t need to add to the mix some girl you barely know AND her new boyfriend? Right, because that sounds like a FANTASTIC idea. That dude isn’t going to try and fight you every time he sees you texting his girl. Give me a BREAK.

This girl is doing one of 2 things.

  1. She just likes attention.
  2. She’s looking for other options because her relationship probably sucks.

So Ghost her like she did you, and move ooooooon. Ain’t no body got time for that!!

Man this one was easy.

We’ll talk relationships again next Thursday, until then send your questions to me.


I just wanted to be your friend…

Let me tell you how much I weigh!

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17 day diet… Week 1 Day 1

Before I get started. DOG UPDATE! The people at Homestretch came over and approved my house for a greyhound! We are going to their greyhound meet up on Saturday with Riker to look at pups. THE PROCESS HAS BEGUN! I’ll post pictures from the Meetup!

Now back to your scheduled blog about my weight.

I absolutely want no part of dieting. I want to just eat all the cured meats, cheeses, drink all the wine, and load up on every pasta dish that comes my way. BUT, I gained to much weight to do that. So here we are.

I’ve been galavanting around the world eating and drinking everything in sight, it’s time to buckle down and get myself back into shape so I can go back to eating and drinking everything in moderation.

This is what I’m doing…

It’s called the 17 day diet. I’m not a health food blogger, so I’m not going to give you all the details, but if you’re interested you can check out this blog and this book.

The quick rundown is basically this:

The diet runs in 4 cycles of 17 days. Starting in cycle 1 you take away everything that is delicious and replace it with shit that’s good for you (See also: not delicious). As the cycles progress you add more and more food back into your diet until you’re eating healthy but not depriving yourself from delicious stuff.

To make things more challenging, every time I slip up, I start cycle 1 all over again. Because I don’t like to say no to everything, I am making sure I stay on track by doing this. Saturday I’m going to see an 80s cover band in Ojai, and I can’t do that without a vodka tonic, so I’ll restart my 17 days again on Sunday. I’m going to be hanging in cycle 1 for a while.

Let’s start with talking about my stats. I’m terrified of posting this, but I’m going to give as much information as possible so if you decide you want to try this, you’ll know what’s up exactly. I’ll repost these stats every week so you can see my progression. Also for those people reading that haven’t seen me in a while and are thinking “Did she gain weight?” YES YES I DID!

  1. Weight – 215.6 (Fuck.)
  2. Height – 5’6″
  3. Measurements
    1. Biceps:  12.25
    2. Waist: 41.25
    3. Hips: 48.50
    4. Thighs: 25.25
    5. Bust: 46.25
    6. Dress size: 16

Ugh so cringe. Now that the hard part is over let me talk to you about my plan.

Yesterday I made all 5 of my lunches for the week. Here is the list of allowed foods on the diet for cycle 1:

You’re supposed to start with hot lemon water every morning, I forgot about the lemons, so I skipped this morning. And had green tea instead. You’ll see the theme of green tea though out the diet. The dude that made this diet LOVES him some green tea.

For breakfast:
– Fruit & Yogurt Parfait
– 1 mug of Green tea

For Lunch:IMG_7158.JPG
Check out my pics!

– I made riced cauliflower, stir fried  veggies, & baked chicken with a bunch of no salt seasonings that sort of sounded Asian. There is like Lemon Pepper and Turmeric (That’s some sort of super food seasoning now. You heard it here first.)
– 1 mug of Green Tea

(Side note, some guy just walked into the break room where I’m writing this and placed 7 bags of chips on the table in front of me. Kill me. I fucking LOVE CHIPS)

This is my plan for the entire week.

Monday – Eggs in Purgatory w/ Roasted Garlic Mashed Cauliflower
Tuesday – Chicken Enchilada Soup
Wednesday – Cauliflower Fried “Rice”
Thursday – Leftovers
Friday – Lemon herb Chicken
Saturday – I don’t know Salmon Maybe?
Sunday – ummm not planned for Sunday’s as we go to our friends house for dinner usually.

Tonight. I made the Eggs in Purgatory. It SOUNDS delicious, but not adding salt, butter, cream, and anything else delicious really fucks it up. But the eggs were nice. So that’s good. Here is a pic:


Now, I also have to add exercise which is the fucking WORST.  It’s only 17 minutes in cycle one…but every single day… I can’t make that promise, but I can try.

Lastly let’s talk about goals.

You’re not supposed to think about the number on the scale when you’re trying to change your diet habits, but fuck it… I want to lose 60 pounds. I’m not in a rush, and I plan to take the whole year to do it, but I want to lose 60. I’m currently a Dress size 16. And I need to fit in a Size 14 for my bridesmaids dress at my friends wedding. But Ideally I want to get the dress taken in and be at a size 12/10? I don’t really know. Her wedding isn’t until October so I have some time.

Day one was pretty easy all things considered. I did have a bit of a headache all day and it’s probably from all the sugar I’m NOT forcing into my face every day. Drinking 80 ounces of water is SO hard, mostly because I don’t have time to pee that much every day. I got shit to do! (Also why is it SOOOOO easy to down two bottles of wine, and so hard to drink 2 40s of water?)

On that note friends, I’m signing off and doing a weird exercise video on YouTube to get my 17 minutes in.

What is your guys go to for diets & fitness. Want to post links to your favorite 20 minute work out videos? I’ll try them all.

Xo –

PS.. j=Just got back from my 17 minute workout to post this…and holy shit I’m out of shape. This is what I did: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHyGqsPOUHs

PPS.. Send help, I want cookies.

Let me tell you how much I weigh!

3rd Times the Charm Right???


I know I say this every year… and I’ll continue to say it until I actually commit to what I say. I am going to blog consistently this year. I am going to make amazing things (see the graphic above.)

I feel happy, I feel motivated. I feel like I can do this!
I’m focusing on a couple things.
Diets, Dogs, & Dating advice.
See they all start with D that means they go together! Perfect. Let me break it down for you.

  1. I need to lose some weight.
    — I know that’s everyone’s New Years resolution. But seriously I need to crack down and actually lose some. I feel like I’m headed to being on a shitty reality TV Show about people that can’t leave their bed’s because they drank too many Coke products. (Or ate to much wine and cheese in my case).
    — I’ve done a test run on my new diet plan, and I think if i hold myself accountable on a blog I’ll be committed. My first food/fitness/fun killer blog blog will be Monday. and EVERY Monday after that until I feel better about my health.
    — I’m Terrified to put my journey out there online. It’s going to be a lot of embarrassing things I have to admit like how much weight I actually gained, and awkward pictures of me that show my progress. Ewwwwwww. (Be nice people).
  2. This is the year of the Dog.
    — Yes Dan and I have a dog. His name is Riker, he’s cute as shit… like SO cute… look at him… —>
    IMG_1165.JPG— I’m obsessed with Santas Little Helper from The Simpsons. Dan and I have watched his cousins greys a bunch this year, and they are such a great breed.
    — The people from Homestretchgreys.org are coming over Saturday to meet Riker and evaluate our home. AMPED.
  3. Dating advice…
    1. Okay I’m in a seriously committed relationship with a dude I love very much. So no I’m not dating. But I do miss writing about relationships and sex from my cosmopolitan blog. I can’t REALLY do things myself anymore. But if you have a question LET ME KNOW. I plan to pump out a blog hilariously answering your awkward dating/relationship questions every Thursday this year. (Did I just commit myself to 2 blogs a week? I did! Also, i need to find another word for commit, since I’ve used it 4 times in this blog so far)

That’s it! I have some other things I want to do as well, but I don’t want to say them right now, mostly because I don’t have a plan for them. But soon.

Well, I’ve committed myself. You guys know my new schedule and I have nothing left here to say. I’ll see you guys Tomorrow for my first blog on ridiculous dating advice. (Yes I do already have USER SUBMITTED QUESTIONS, (Okay 1 user submitted question…) so get your question in.)

You can either comment here, or send me an e-mail to jacqueline.sonnemaker@gmail.com


3rd Times the Charm Right???

One Year.

Holy shit. It’s been a year. (No not since I last updated my blog, jeez, you don’t have to be rude, I’ll be better about it… maybe.)

One year ago I stepped onto California pavement, and decided “I’m fucking doing this.” I also thought “I can buy wine in the grocery store, this is amazing.”

I’m still fucking doing this (and still buying Sauv Blanc at Vons.) To me, that’s a god damn success story.

I had full intentions of writing a blog complaining about how hard this shit is. I was going to complain about how much I haaaaated LA. But then yesterday I got a text message from a friend I haven’t seen in years, but miss all the time. The last time her and I exchanged text messages was June 30th 2014. So you can imagine my surprise to see her name pop up on my screen.

This is what it said:

“Dude. How are you? I wanted to tell you that I love seeing your posts about Cali and your new job and your Dan who you used to play long distance video games with 🙂 Do you guys live together? Are you happy? It seems like it. I miss you lots. <3”

I was sitting at my desk shortly after my hell of a commute, read that message and just thought about it for a while. I almost burst into tears of happiness. (And I cry over basically nothing…)

Lately I’ve been frustrated. I barely make enough money to live, I’m not doing the work I thought I’d be doing by now, I spend 2 hours a day in my car driving to and from work, and some people look at the fact that because I’ve left Los Angeles and moved to Ventura I’m some sort of failure.

But you know what? I am fucking happy. Leaving behind my life in Denver to come and make a totally new one in California was scary, and hard. If you asked me 3 months ago where you thought I was going to be today, I probably responded with something like “Begging my dad to let me live rent free in his basement*.” I’m not in my dad’s basement, I’m here, LIVING and loving it.

Here are all the amazing things that make me ridiculously happy every single day.

  • I get to roll down my windows on the way home from work and smell the god damn ocean. My hour long commute doesn’t seem so bad when I get to watch the sun set into an endless sea.
  • I haven’t put on a winter jacket since I got back from England last September. That’s right… I went the whole winter without zipping up a heavy coat.
  • I am looking into purchasing a bike. Why? (It’s not because I enjoy physical activity.) Because I live 15 minutes from the beach. I can actually own a beach cruiser, and use it at the beach.
  • I get to hang out with the coolest person I’ve ever dated. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. No more, “long distance video games” or “I’ll see you when you’re in the area.”
  • That same person brings be breakfast in bed almost every Saturday. (mostly because he knows I’m to lazy to make breakfast myself, or get out of bed before acceptable breakfast times. I still think 2pm is acceptable for breakfast, Dan does not.)
  • One more thing about Dan, he plugs in all of my devices. My phone hasn’t died while I was out in at least 4 months. If you know me, you know that this is amazing. (PS, Dan, I’ve lost my iPad somewhere in the house. Help.)
  • I went to Disneyland 7 times in one year. SEVEN.
  • Did I mention that I can buy wine at the grocery store?

There are so many more things too, but that’s for another time.

I have about a billion complaints about what I feel like is going wrong in my life, but all that shit gets outweighed by all the stuff I just mentioned. I just needed someone to put it into perspective for me.

I was driving home from work today, and a Punchline song came on my shuffle. For some reason I decided to actually listen to every lyric, and one just really stuck out to me.

“We shot for the moon and missed, but we discovered our own planet.”

That basically sums up my whole experience moving to Southern California. I thought I was coming here for one thing, but where I ended up is so much better than I could have imagined.

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the lack of funny in this post, we’ll go back to the regularly scheduled blog next time.


*I don’t think I’d actually have to beg, in fact I think my dad would prefer I’d come home so we can drink ciders together and laugh at stupid people on the news… but that takes away from the dramatic effect I’m going for.

One Year.

Working From Home…


OH crap, I’m already a day late in trying to blog every week!
It’s hard adjusting to a full time job! I just want to watch true crime documentaries and drink wine every day after work. #relax.

Anyway You guys LOVED hearing about the worst job I’ve ever had. Thanks so much for the awesome feedback and I loved hearing the stories everyone had about their jobs. If you don’t know what I’m talking about go read it now. BUT also please go tell me about your worst job ever, can’t wait to hear about it!

This week I wanted to write about hilarious travel stories about all my adventures over seas, but I’m going to save it for next week. Mostly because I didn’t make a good enough outline and really don’t want to forget anything. Let me just say, I witnessed an almost death in the air on a plane, while flying to Paris. All I could think was “please don’t turn this plane around” That’ll be next week, so make sure to come back on Wednesday.

Today I’m going to write about all the things I already miss about working from home.

I LOVE working from home. The only reason why I found a job in an office was because I just don’t have enough freelance to pay all my bills every month. And DAMN California, pipe down with how fucking expensive you are. It’s only been a week and a day since I got my job, but here are the things I really desperately miss.

  1. Drinking wine while working – This is going to make me sound like an alcoholic, but I feel like I’m just much more productive when I can have a glass of wine, relax and just be creative. You can’t do that in an office. Tragic.
  2. Picking anywhere to be my office – Although I do have a home office… ANYWHERE could be my office. My favorite spots include: my bed, the guest room bed (it has a tv in there), the recliner couch. Also bars by the beach.
  3. Being able to take a lunch whenever I want – This also includes being able to say I’m too busy to take a lunch right now, so I’m going to work through it even though its California law for me to take a 30 minute lunch at least. Just let me work through lunch and leave early!
  4. Wearing the same clothes every day – Let’s be real people. When you don’t have to go anywhere all day, you don’t leave your pajamas. When you don’t have to go anywhere all week, you still wear those pajamas. Do you know how much laundry I have now?! A lot.
  5. The Commute – My commute every morning used to be like this: Dan wakes up, get’s ready for work, and before he leaves he says “can I get you anything?” I respond with “Can you grab my laptop for me?” I seriously had NO commute. I didn’t even have to leave the bed if I didn’t want to. Now I have an hour drive to and from work every day. ONE FUCKING HOUR.

I guess that’s really it. Also I don’t want to make this another super negative blog full of complaints. I am really happy I have a job. The stress I felt trying to find one is finally gone, and that’s fantastic. SO here are some things that I do enjoy about working a regular job.

  1. Free Tea/Coffee – My job has this fancy coffee machine. It’s similar to a Kurig but isn’t. You can make all these fancy things by mixing pods. It’s GREAT. I feel like a coffee scientist every morning mixing things together.
  2. People – Being around people at work is HUGE. I feel like I’ve made a few friends pretty quickly, and am anxiously awaiting my first happy hour with them (I’m not an alcoholic I swear!). I can actually hash out the decisions I’m making about what I’m doing with my work to someone that gets it and has advice for me.
  3. Getting Ready – As much as I love hanging out in my PJs all day, I also love getting ready. I love doing my hair/makeup and dressing cute. What girl doesn’t? Every evening I pick out whatever outfit I’m going to wear and I have been enjoying myself. I forgot about all the fancy work clothes I had!
  4. The Commute – Yes I DO like it… not because I have to get up early, or drive an hour. But I’m getting SO caught up on all my Podcasts and Audiobooks. Audible, I just need you to sponsor me now, because I spent too much money purchasing audio books.

There you have it. two blogs in one week about jobs. That’s obviously what’s been on my mind. Does anyone else work from home? Has anyone “transitioned?” to working full time? What’s the longest time it’s taken for you to find a job?

I’m going to get back to watching some true crime documentaries and get in bed by 10pm. I do have to work in the morning after all.



Working From Home…